Effective Communication & Feedback Skills

Hello Football Fans,

              This is CoachD on behalf of the California Football Coaches Association.  Today I am going to discuss Effective Communication & Feedback Skills.

Communication is something we do throughout our lifetimes with very little formal training.  We will be expected to interact with a wide variety of people: parents, coaches, board members, league officials, referees and most important, our players.  Sometimes it will be to provide information, other times to change attitude or behavior or resolve conflicts or emotional confrontations.  Think of past coaches in your life and what made them effective communicators.

•        Get to know our players and learn something unique about each of them.

•        Take an interest in the players and demonstrate we care about them as players and people.

•        Players won’t care what we know until they know that we care.

•        Actively listen – focus on the problem, let them know you are listening, provide feedback

•        Sometimes it’s not what we say, but how we say it – body posture, vocal tone, etc…

One of the greatest things I heard at a recent football convention was “if you are yelling at a player then you are doing a lousy job as a coach”.  The coach went on to say that if we are yelling at a player for making a physical mistake or mental error, then obviously we didn’t do a good enough job teaching him in the first place.  We have to find a way to teach everyone, even if it means coming up with several different ways to teach the same skill or technique.  When a player misses an assignment, it may be that he used the wrong technique or was confused with the assignment.  Both can be fixed with effective communication skills and teaching techniques.

          One of the recent coaching clinics put on by a local college I attended included observation of practice.  As I watched the offensive line, I noticed one ball player in particular kept making the same mistake over & over again.  The coach had hoped the player could make the adjustment without his assistance, but after the 3rd mistake, the coach quietly called the player over. Without saying a word, the coach put his arm around the player and they both observed the next few reps.  Eventually the coach turned to the athlete and gently said "See how he is getting off the ball, taking his steps and getting into his man?  That's how I want you to do it, just like you have done it a thousand times before.  Are you ready to get back in there?"  The player nodded with enthusiasm and excitedly jumped back into the drill, mistakes corrected and proceeded to dominate his opponent throughout the rest of the drill.

          Whether it is in practice or games, after good or bad plays, we must provide direction through feedback.  Remember the times when a coach gave you a “pat on the back” and how that made you feel.  Now remember the times when a coach said “you stink”.  How likely are you to listen to the rest of what that coach says in either situation?  Which one will motivate you into permanently performing at a higher level?

1. Never miss an opportunity to praise an athlete.  Give 4 positives with every negative.
2. Correct errors and mistakes.
3. Focus on the athlete’s strengths and weaknesses.
4. Give feedback immediately unless there is a need to wait until the athlete needs to gain emotional control.
5. Give realistic expectations based on the player’s age & skill level.
6. Be consistent & fair with everyone.  You can’t do something different or talk any differently with your starting QB or star player than you do with everyone else.
7. Be specific with an observable behavior.
8. Avoid moral or value judgments, penalize the behavior, not the personality.
9. MOST IMPORTANT: reward effort as much as or more than the outcome.  All too often, a player won’t give a great effort if they don’t expect an outcome that will be acceptable to the coach.  We want to teach that with great effort come great results.

Make sure your feedback is sincere and truthful.  Players will know when you are not being honest.  One great strategy is to sandwich the necessary feedback between two positives:

•        Give a sincere compliment: “Good! Your feet were shoulder width apart and your head was up on that one”

•        Give specific feedback: “Now this time, take the step with the foot closest to the hole we are running to”.

•        Finish with another positive: “Great effort! You will get this soon, just keep working at it”.

If we make the commitment and take the time to provide effective feedback to the players, we will reap the benefits of greater learning and improvement in our team.

In my next blog, I will be talking about Teaching the Basics and Fundamentals to your football players. 

As always, please let me know what you think about this and any other article.  You can contact me at: coachd@calfootballcoaches.com.

Coaching Your Own Kids

Hello Football Fans,

              This is CoachD on behalf of the California Football Coaches Association.  Today I am going to discuss coaching your own kids.

It is possible to be a parent and coach your own kids. As a matter of fact, it can be some of the most wonderful experiences with your kids you will ever spend.   When my children were starting to ask about playing T-ball and Under 6 soccer, I desperately wanted to coach them.  Not because I was an expert, I certainly wasn’t, but I knew it would be a wonderful opportunity to spend time with my kids.  But I didn’t know if it was a good idea or not.  I had heard horror stories of parents coaching their kids, but also saw relationships blossom in a coach/parent & player/child relationship. 

I decided to put it to the test.  I asked about 50 teachers/coaches in local school districts (not exactly a highly statistically significant sampling) about coaching their own children.  I always asked them if they liked it or didn’t like it, why or why not, and finally if they had to do it all over again, would they coach their own kids.  I was hoping for at least 80% of the responses to be one-way or the other.  As it turned out, it was about 50/50.  The key ingredient was it depended upon the relationship between your child and you. 

I knew that I would always be my boys’ dad, but I wouldn’t always be their coach.  Being a dad always came first; I could always coach other kids.   I decided to give it a try because I knew that I could be coach on the field, dad at home.

 I knew I could treat my boys the same as other kids and I wouldn’t favor them.  I was only worried about how other parents would treat my boys or me since they were “coaches son”.  Coaching youth sports was great because the players always had to play a minimum number of innings or periods or quarters.  I always told the parents at our pre-season meeting that my son or sons were on the team and everybody would play the same amount.  I told them that in addition to teaching all players the skills and drills necessary to succeed and enjoy the game, I would keep an accurate count of their playing time and at the end of the season, everyone would be equal.  I told them that if anyone would get short changed for amount of playing time, it would be my kids so they couldn’t complain that my son(s) got more playing time than their son(s).  If you think this is harsh, I had already explained this to my sons as a condition before accepting a coaching position and they were perfectly fine with it.  Especially when I told them that if everyone played 150 innings, they might only play 149 innings.  Or if everyone played 50 quarters, then they might only play 49 quarters.  My boys understood that I was trying to get everyone a lot of playing time and I was not worried about win at all costs – which they appreciated.  A couple of times, my boys asked me to put someone else in (giving up their own rotation to their teammate) because the other player hadn’t played much that day.  I thought it was pretty cool.

Why do you want to coach?

I have been around sports most of my life, as a player and coach.  I have seen lots of coaches who were out there for different reasons: 

1. Some are motivated to help out wherever needed: coach, maintenance, equipment, snack bar, team mom, etc…. 

2. Yet others want to help coach because they have knowledge and experience to offer and want to make sure their child gets good coaching. 

3. Other parents need to re-live their youth or high school sports experience through their child because of some unfulfilled fantasy.  A few years ago I had an assistant coach who just couldn’t wait to be on the “scout” team and dominate a bunch of 11 year olds – not really classy. 

4. And finally, some parents coach just to make sure their child gets as much playing time as possible.  If you are seeking to coach for the last two reasons, don’t even consider coaching. 

Are you qualified to coach this sport?

     First off, you have to love being around kids and teaching them, understanding and relating to them.  If you want to be the Head Coach, you also need to be able to be organized with practice plans and paperwork and schedules.  If this isn’t you, forget it.  If you want to be the Assistant Coach, then you must be willing to follow whatever the Head Coach asks of you. If you have basic knowledge and skills, this will probably be sufficient to coach the younger athletes.  But with the older athletes, you will need some specific knowledge and experience.  There are lots of books, videos’s, dvd’s and clinics on the sport.  Education is a never-ending process.  I am afraid to say that the more materials I buy and the more clinics I attend, the more I realize and don’t know as much as I thought I did.  I make it a point to pick up at least one book or dvd at every clinic I attend (I like clinics, so I attend 2-3 per year).  Last weekend I bought 2 dvd’s at a clinic.  I always pick up numerous tips to help me each year, usually too many great ideas to implement in one season.  My wife tells me I have more of our money invested in coaching books & DVD’s than some small countries have in their Gross Domestic Products.   Ooooh, that hurts.

Special Tips on Coaching your own Kids

·       Treat them just like everyone else.

·       Don’t offer more help to them

·       During the drive home after practice or the game, remember you are the parent.

·       Don’t dominate dinnertime with sports talk.

·       Give equal time to your other kids who aren’t playing for you yet.

·       Don’t compare your athletic achievements with your child’s.

·       There is a time to be coach and a time to be a parent, make it clear.

·       You want to always be able to look back on the experience and have both of you remember how much fun it was.

In my next blog, I will be talking about effective communication and feedback to your football players. 

As always, please let me know what you think about this and any other article.  You can contact me at: coachd@calfootballcoaches.com.

Introduction to Coaching Football

Hello Football Fans,

              This is CoachD on behalf of the California Football Coaches Association.  Today I am going to give an introduction to coaching football.

Coaches have a deep impact on the lives of our youth.  As coaches, we have quite a few responsibilities more than just teaching the X’s & O’s of the sport. We determine the kind of experience our athletes have while participating in sports. We serve as role models and mentors in teaching, not only football, but life skills as well.  Of course we want to strive to win, but we also want to the players to learn life lessons and positive character traits from sports.  It is a huge responsibility, but serving our youth is also one of the most rewarding as well.  Whatever we do, we must do it with class, dignity, poise, respect and always in control. We must all have fun and ensure everyone participates in a physically and psychologically safe environment.  But most important, we must teach ways to help them develop as football players, good citizens and productive members of society.  To do this, we must create a positive learning environment.

     One of the greatest aspects of coaching is the connection and impact we have on the lives of our athletes.  What a great opportunity for us to help young people develop and be close to a game that we enjoyed playing.  We must find a way for each player on our team to contribute and recognize him for his efforts.  We must ensure the last player on the depth chart has a reason to feel pride and experience a sense of accomplishment.  It is important that “late maturers” receive the same skill instruction as the more experienced players, because those who mature late will often outgrow the “early maturers” in high school.

As I said earlier, a 6 year old won’t be able to understand or learn the game of football as well as a senior in high school.  A freshman who has never played football before won’t have the experience or knowledge of someone who has played youth football for a few years.  Unfortunately, some coaches don’t take the time to teach everyone the game, they figure they will teach to the fortunate few who have experience and hope the inexperienced kids come along.  They forget that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. 

I was at a football clinic one weekend and a college coach was talking to a bunch of high school and youth coaches.  He said at his college (a Division I team, recently ranked high enough for a BCS berth) their philosophy is to “Hug ‘em up & coach ‘em up”.  He went on to explain that even college athletes on scholarship need to be coached up, taught the basics and need to feel like a valuable and contributing member of their team.  He added that it was even more so on the high school and youth levels.  And finally he told us “INEXPERIENCE DOES NOT MEAN INABILITY”.  He explained that we would get kids with different levels of experience.  And just because they don’t have as much experience, right now that we are searching for, we shouldn’t give up on them because at some point, if given that experience, they will be able to contribute just like anyone else. 

     I firmly believe in this concept.  As a Physical Education teacher for nearly 20 years, I can’t tell you how many great athletes I have had in my classes that were not playing sports because of coaches.  Sometimes they were so physically small, that a coach cut them just because of their size.  Some of them may have been too young to play and were never given a chance.  It’s a shame to see a 6’4” 230 lb sophomore who tears it up in my PE classes that will not go out for football (or any other sport) because when he was younger a coach didn’t give him a chance.  I think what is the biggest shame is that many coaches don’t look at the big picture, they only look at the here and now.  By that I mean, kids physically and mentally mature at different rates.  Some of the superstars in youth sports are kids who matured earlier and who dominate the undeveloped kids.  Their smaller, less skilled backups end up quitting the sport and never returning.  But throughout the years, they begin to mature, physically and mentally, and surpass the previous youth superstar.  The problem is, nobody will know about it. 

When I was in 6^th grade, we had a boy in our class who was 5’8” tall and growing facial hair.  He was a man amongst boys, athletically.  But soon, the rest of us started growing while he was at his peak.  In high school, he could no longer compete with our size because he had capped out in 6^th grade.

A buddy of mine entered high school at 5’1” 103 lbs.  He graduated 6’2” 195 lbs. 

I had a boy on my youth team that years earlier was always the dominant player.  He was a superior athlete in elementary school, older than others in his class and light weight so he could always play down in youth football.  His parents loved his domination even though he was a 6^th grader playing against 4^th & 5^th graders.  When I got him as an 8^th grader, he and his parents had the superstar mentality, already talking about college scholarships and Pro Bowl appearances.  He was 5’6” and 135lbs.  By then, the others on the team and league were starting to catch up to him physically.  He could no longer outrun or overrun everyone.  He started getting injured a lot, running away from the bigger guys.  He didn’t finish the last third of our season because of injuries.  He tried out for freshman football, but by then everyone had caught up to him and he was no longer the dominant force he used to be.  Of course, to this day he is still the same size and the parents still blame the coaches for not making him a star.  Sad, sad editorial to say the least. 

I had a high school quarterback who had started his entire career in youth football (his dad was his coach).  I always thought the backup QB was the better QB, but I wasn’t the QB coach or offensive Coordinator and I always believe as a Head Coach, let the assistants do their job.  But after a behavior/attitude problem with the starting QB, we were forced to start the backup QB the next game.  To everyone’s surprise except my own, he performed brilliantly.  The next week we had a QB controversy.  We started the original QB, he put us in a hole, and we went with the backup QB in the 2^nd half who pulled us out of a 3-touchdown deficit to win the game.  He started the rest of the year. The original starter was never really happy playing Free Safety for us (he and the other QB switched spots) the remainder of the year and his dad tried unsuccessfully to get me fired (my Principal and Superintendent saw through the dad and backed me up).

In my next blog, I will be talking about coaching your own kids. 

As always, please let me know what you think about this and any other article.  You can contact me at: coachd@calfootballcoaches.com.